A Gentle Break

This blog is on vacation for a bit. Wishing you all the best!

(I’ll still be reading, commenting, etc. I think. And please feel free to email me!)

 

crush

Sometimes I don’t take the time to watch videos that people post. And that’s OK! But I encourage you to take 3 minutes and watch this beautiful little video from Jen Gray.

Really.

 

enCouraging Bliss: List!

This week’s Encouraging Bliss project from Christine is:

Think back over your last week. Where, what, when, and how did you find moments of bliss? Were there times or activities during which you felt completely on this path of bliss?

Were there any moments when you were able to transcend the ordinary, the difficult, and see the bigger picture — the bliss that encompasses all of it?

Were you aware of the giant blissful response of Yes! to even that which was, perhaps, uncomfortable?

Here’s my list! For a lot of the past week, I was off – just not relaxing and enjoying the things I usually do. But I think every day and week has some blissful moments…

• It was so, so hot last weekend and at the start of this week. When the weather broke and cool, more spring-y air rushed in…ahhhh! That was wonderful!
• Before the aforementioned heat became too much for me, I did enjoy sitting outside in it – in the shade of course! While the warmth helped relax my muscles, I read and read some more.
• I had a few tiny flashes of insight this week. I try to hang on to the little flashes until I have enough to clump together into something that shines a noticeable light.
• And the Grand Finale: I got to watch a fox trotting along! It was beautiful and fluffy. And of course, WILD. Wonderful!

Would you care to share a moment or two from the past week?

 

The Widening Sky

The Widening Sky

I am so small walking on the beach
at night under the widening sky.

The wet sand quickens beneath my feet
and the waves thunder against the shore.

I am moving away from the boardwalk
with its colorful streamers of people

and the hotels with their blinking lights.
The wind sighs for hundreds of miles.

I am disappearing so far into the dark
I have vanished from sight.

I am a tiny seashell
that has secretly drifted ashore

and carries the sound of the ocean
surging through its body.

I am so small now no one can see me.
How can I be filled with such a vast love?

-Edward Hirsch

 

Forgiveness

I’m sharing the following piece by Jesse Wolf Hardin with permission. You can visit the original post to share your thoughts with the author here.  If you’re not familiar with Anima Center, click here!

I appreciated this nuanced look at the topics of forgiveness and anger. Lots of good food for thought.

-FORGIVENESS-
Releasing Anger & Holding Responsible

By Jesse Wolf Hardin

www.animacenter.org

Forgiving can be a very beautiful and healing thing, such as learning to forgive ourselves for some perceived inadequacy, or setting aside rancor as we come to terms with a harm someone has done, while welcoming their remorse or restitution.  A review of the dictionary definitions indicates, nonetheless, that it is not something we should either universally or casually hand out.  The word “forgive” comes from an early Germanic word meaning “to give whole-heartedly,” but was first derived from the Latin “perdonare,” meaning to pardon.  Thus the first of the definitions I found:

1. To grant pardon for an offense.

A pardon is a release from penalty and obligation, something that may be highly inappropriate in the case of repeated spousal abuse or the continued logging and burning of the world’s vital rainforests.

2. To cancel an indebtedness or liability.

If anything, surely those who cause a harm our of self interest or greed should be held liable and accountable, perhaps to the extent of having criminals do acts of service for the people they have robbed, and vainglorious Wall Street managers paying restitution to the public that they have hurt.

It’s important to remember that the opposite of forgiveness is neither hate nor holding a grudge, but holding someone responsible for the results of their words, acts and omissions just as nature itself does.  And we need to hold each other as well as ourselves responsible for those things unworthy of being excused or condoned, not by either punishing wrong doers or submitting to punishment ourselves, but by insisting that they – like us – are honest about their effects, doing all possible to make better, rectify, heal and thereby be redeemed.

Redemption through caring and courageous acts is one the most ennobling and compelling of human accomplishments, to the point of being a core theme of a majority of the finest literature and film… not that it can nullify what we’ve thought and said before, all of which likely has consequences for not only us but those around us.  Though I might wish otherwise, doing something right or even noble can’t erase either the reality or the results of earlier harmful actions.  Redeeming ourselves does not “wipe the slate clean” or allow us to “start over,” but then neither would that necessarily desirable, since we distinguish ourselves through the willful shift and conscious transition.  We gain inner power from not only what we do but from how far we have come, the commendable process of learning from our mistakes, and from what we have suffered or confronted in order to become more caring, giving and true.  There’s less measurable growth among those who have carefully avoided risk and thus error, while recognition and even admiration attends the great leaps made by some of those who have first done wrong.  This alone is enough reason to reject the common expression “forgive and forget.”  if we forget the wrongs or mistakes of ourselves and others, we will have forgotten that there was ever a cause for forgiveness, and that there was ever either the need or the room to repair, remedy and improve.

Upon close examination, we can see that forgiveness serves neither others nor us when it leads us to overlook what should be noticed and evaluated.  When it functions to condone what should reasonably be unacceptable, from larceny to ecological destruction and the mistreatment of children.  When we absolve the guilt of those people or institutions that should be admitting their role and making amends.  When we “let bygones be bygones” with inadequate consideration of what our acceptance of wrongful acts might result in in the future.  When forgiveness becomes a reason for tolerating what no self respecting being should tolerate, for excusing the inexcusable, the fouling of rivers, clearcut hillsides, racist attacks and date rape.  Whenever forgiveness is confused with forbearance of that which threatens diversity, impinges on liberty, maliciously or neglectfully endangers or dishonors life.

If it is “giving throughly” as the early Germanic translation would have it, than it would be a more valuable present if given sparingly, meaningfully, and only when wholly deserved.  Rather than automatically dismissing our concerns our issuing a blanket exemption, we might better notice, distinguish, discern, and decide on the appropriateness of what goes on in our homes, communities and watersheds.  In this way we would ourselves be taking responsibility… not for the acts of others, but for our small part in the co-creation or our world and our reality.

3. To cease to feel anger or resentment.

This may be what most of us think of first when we tell someone we forgive them, signaling that we ready to stop being angry and willing to let the issue or peeve go even though damage may have been done.  The German government asked for forgiveness from the Jewish community in hopes of advancing reconciliation after the Nazi atrocities.  Couples forgive themselves after an argument, “clearing the air” for a fresh perspective or sweet mending.

Even the most peace loving and spiritual among us, however, should still take into account the occasional value of natural, temporary, conditional and directed anger.  At its healthiest, anger is distress abated or eased through conscious application, a life affirming passion to protect and correct, a kind of medicine when employed to prevent or remedy an injustice.  Anger is a capacity that evolved over the course of millions of years to help motivate us to defend life and halt wrongs, not to demonstrate prejudice, wreak vengeance or vent displeasure.  For relief and resolution, not for punishment or vengeance.

All too often, of course, our anger is indeed misplaced.  And even when it isn’t, it is unhealthy to the degree that we hold onto it instead of utilizing it to foment and fuel to the point of resolution, neither purposefully acting on it nor effectively letting it go.  Resentment is even more problematic, having absolutely no value or function, and benefitting neither the person doing the resenting or the person or thing that they resent.  Resentment is the frustration, envy, discomfort and distress that we’ve failed to address or act on, and like unresolved anger it can distort, handicap or even poison us and the best of our intentions.

Nature and the Anima teach us to purge ourselves of all such resentment, and to explore, understand, engage and then work to rectify that which we are angry about.  It helps neither ourselves nor the world to pardon or ignore those acts and conditions that we know to be harmful.  But on the other hand, neither does it serve the community, earth or us to nurse and sustain that anger.  Hostility endangers not only the fabric of relationship and tribe, but the attendant stress can severely damage our emotional and physical health, our peace of mind, and therefore our very lives.  We’d do well to keep in mind such effects on our own well being – as well as the severity of a wrong or the degree of repentance – whenever deciding what, why and when to forgive.

Whenever prudent and justified, forgiving is a blessing of resolution and relief for all concerned. And at its best, it is not so much what we afford others, as it is a gift to ourselves as the loving and willing forgiver.

 

BTT: Worse?

Today, Booking Through Thursday asks us:

Which is worse?

Finding a book you love and then hating everything else you try by that author, or

Reading a completely disappointing book by an author that you love?

This is a tricky little question!

I think I have to chose the second one – reading a disappointing book by a loved author.

It’s very exciting to me to find a new book/author that I love and to then not like their other books would be disappointing…

But for me it’s worse to pick up a favorite author’s new book and have that happy anticipation drain away. Maybe because I have developed more of a relationship with a favorite author than with one I’ve just had a single fun outing with.

That said, no author can please all the people, all the time, so I probably won’t hold it against them too much.

 

Posts to Note

It’s time again to highlight some of the wonderful posts I’ve recently noted…

Tips for a Green Kitchen at Chocolate & Zucchini – Lots of creative and interesting tips for your kitchen (check this out for new ideas, not just the usual fare).

the not good enough lie by Jen Gray – A quick, lovely kick in the pants.

The Dogwood Tree at Posie Gets Cozy – A visual feast.

5 Rules for the First Hour of Your Day at BlissChick – Getting your day off on the right foot.

Feel free to share some more in the comments!

 

Earth Holder

Our planet Earth has a variety of life, and each species depends on all the other species in order to be able to manifest and continue. We’re not only outside of each other, but we’re also inside each other. It is very important to hold the Earth in our arms and in our heart, to preserve the beautiful planet and to protect all species. The Lotus Sutra mentions the name of a special bodhisattva – Dharanmidhara, or Earth Holder – as someone who preserves and protects the Earth.

-from The World We Have: A Buddhist Approach to Peace and Ecology by Thich Nhat Hanh

 

Sniff Swig Puff

In memory of Bea Arthur, this great performance…

 

Happy Place Collage

This week’s enCouraging Bliss project is creating a Happy Place collage. Read more about it (and maybe join in!) here.

I could probably create a dozen Happy Place collages. There was so much I wanted to include

Here’s what I made: